Sept 13, 1990

Modern Clap Doctors

Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.

Richter cartoon caption

In the days before the sulfa drugs and antibiotics, gonorrhea was as incurable as AIDS is today. There were doctors who specialized in the treatment of incurable diseases. A patient would come in with gonorrhea(clap). The doctor would give him some pills. The pills did no good and, in the natural course of things, eventually the disease would disappear; only to reappear later as arthritis. These doctors, who did little or no good, were contemptuously called "Clap Doctors". They and abortionists were considered the dregs of the medical profession --for good reason. They existed to extract money from their patients. The better doctors were also concerned with the welfare of their patients.

The modern version of the clap doctor is the cancer quack and the AIDS quack. Their sole function is also to extract money from the victims in exchange for virtually nothing.

A quack usually has some degree or other: an M.D., O.D., D.C., Ph.D., etc, although there are some quacks with no degrees at all. The ones with medical degrees usually do better than the others. Most do quite well financially --why else would they be in the business?

If you read enough mystery stories, before too long you know enough about how they are put together so that you can write your own. I've read so many cancer-quack books that I know the formula.

All quack books start out the same. They tell you how kind and considerate the quack is and what a bunch of heartless inconsiderate bastards his colleagues are. They don't even have to exaggerate. There are enough heartless, unfeeling bastards in the medical profession so that the quack doesn't have to invent them. There are also plenty of kind, considerate and competent physicians too --but he doesn't mention those.

Step two is to point out how many of HIS patients outlived the predictions of other doctors: "She was told that she had 6 months to live. That was three years ago and she's alive and well today." Also not hard to document. There are a lot of deluded physicians out there who really think that they can tell how long a patient will live. The really competent physicians don't play God and will not tell a patient how long they are supposed to live. Why won't they do this? Because they simply don't know when someone is going to die --nobody does! The FICTION that a physician can really foretell the future and predict how long a patient will live is perpetuated by TV, the movies and the quacks.

Step three is to present his great "breakthrough". It used to be some expensive drug made from apricot pits(Laetrile) or Krebiozen or whatever. The new generation of cancer quacks aren't so crude. They found out that it's too easy for medical scientists to do tests that show that their drugs just don't work. Now the pitch is to empower the patient to cure his own cancer with the power of the mind. There's no way to test this because every time that it doesn't work, it's because the patient lost faith in his own power.

It's an ancient medical trick. Montaigne, in the 16th century, pointed out that when a patient gets well, the doctor takes the credit and when he doesn't the patient gets the blame: he didn't take the medicine, didn't see the doctor soon enough or, in the modern case, didn't have enough faith. I doubt that the idea was original with Montaigne. Some wise Greek probably said it seventeen centuries before he did.

Step four is to tell you how the medical establishment is trying to suppress his findings. This is also probably true since the quack's treatment isn't worth beans and he's simply taking money for doing nothing.

It's fool-proof and very very lucrative. The "therapy" might even cost a lot less than radiation, surgery and chemotherapy. The quack, nonetheless, makes a fortune since it costs him very little for drugs or equipment, and it really takes very little time per patient. They can be fleeced in groups.

What does the patient get from all of this? HOPE!! That's the only ingredient --HOPE! However, you can get HOPE for a lot less money in a church --and it's just as effective!

There are a lot of gullible people out there. Of these, some will get cancer and of the incurables, some will fall into the hands of the quacks. All AIDS victims are meat for these fakers.

Quacks are very skillful people --manipulators (con-men). A quack's victim will usually be very happy with what he gets --until he dies!

And he will die on nature's schedule, since what the quack did for him was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

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