December 20, 1990

The Law, Sex and Psychiatry

..that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights. That among these are Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness.

The Declaration of Independence

This year, in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, a 29 year old married man took a 26 year old woman for a drive. They parked and had intercourse in the front seat of the car. Before long, he found himself in court accused of having sex with a mentally ill woman. Wisconsin has a law forbidding a person from having sex with a person who is "mentally ill." He was also informed that he had basically had intercourse with an innocent fun loving 20 year old, while her six year old child(the same person) was watching. The woman had 46 different personalities and he had screwed the wrong one.

His defense was that he didn't know that she was mentally ill. The man was found guilty and says that he will appeal. I hope so and I hope that he wins that appeal. I don't think that the law is unconstitutional, but it certainly goes against the Pursuit of Happiness part of the Declaration of Independence.

This is the silliest trial since Scopes was tried for teaching evolution in the state of Tennessee. Just because it's a minor case doesn't mean that it isn't important. Many a trivial case has had far reaching ramifications. The famous Leopold and Loeb case set the precedent for the not guilty by reason of insanity defense. In the hands of a lawyer as clever as Clarence Darrow, anything might happen. If the Wisconsin law is upheld, a man may have to ask a woman to sign an affidavit stating that she is of sound mind before consummating the sex act.

The key to successful seduction of any kind is to appeal to a person's inner child. The sexy part of a person is young. If the conviction of this unfortunate man holds up in the higher courts, it will essentially outlaw seduction by both sexes. The sexual Puritans will have a field day with this one.

Everyone has multiple personalities, but very few people make a big thing of it. Inside of every old man are a number of younger men --often including several dirty-young-men. When I enjoy a chocolate ice cream cone, it's not a 65 year old man who is doing so, but a small boy. If you look carefully, you will see me licking my lips and grinning, just as I did when I was a kid. Sexual pleasure is related to my years of sexual awakening; pleasure in skiing goes back to the days when I went down a small hill on a sled. With a little practice, a person can learn to separate his different personalities. It is a very useful if you want to understand yourself.

The multiple-personality gambit is the perfect way to avoid responsibility for one's actions. Do I think that woman's crazy? Sure, crazy like a fox!

It seems to be fairly easy to find a professional who will testify that someone is insane and just as easy to find another shrink who will testify to the opposite point of view. The assumption that there is a crazy person on one side of the psychiatrist's desk and a sane one on the other is far from being an established fact. All possibilities exist: both are sane, one is crazy, or both are crazy. When one is sane and one is crazy, it could be either the shrink or the patient who is the crazy one.

If this case is resolved in the high courts by finding that man guilty, every shyster lawyer will be licking his chops at the thought of how much money he will make helping some women to rack-up their ex-lovers.

Being crazy isn't all bad. Anyone who has bedded a sane woman and one who is slightly crazy can testify to the superiority of the experience with a slightly wacky one. Many women can testify that a completely sane man is a bore.

The truth of the matter is that sex itself, if viewed objectively, is such a ridiculous act that you have to be crazy to do it. If the preliminaries aren't silly enough, the act itself is ridiculous. Fortunately, none of us is completely sane.

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